Monday, 2 May 2016




Are you still oblivious of Marital Rape & think it cant happen with you?? All  men who are getting married , to see the union with your soul mate &  exhilarated about your married life, here is some thought for your biting. Ignorance is a bliss & you may prefer to remain in state of denial or prefer to enjoy your celibacy.  Marital rape law is in making and sooner it is implemented obtaining a consent will become must before before you put your alpha in omega. 

The best part of marital rape is the entire basis of this law will be based on the merit of consent obtained before having sex with your better half. The consent will remain sacrosanct as long as she is your better half , the moment she transforms into bitter half , the consent will transform in to dissent . 

Young boys & adolescent are quick learner as  a falling affair  sees its transition as rape , the moment young guy is able to catch ire of his chosen one, 40% of the Indian youth becomes rapist even though the concurrence is arrived with consensus. Thus Consensus holds no sanctity as the immediate kin of plea is promise to marriage which itself is leaglised as rape.  

Without much adieu here are few words of wisdom , crazy ideas to absolve yourself from being recognized as rapist. With Media hounding and offering you free publicity as Rapist. Or you admirer of Indian legal system & your faith  you to  get a feel of the court rooms follow some of them ...

1. Married Couples choose your marital abode near a Notary :  

Well the moment you feel an urge for unison stop looking for condoms first look for notary . Run to notary with your better half & get your consent affidavit notarized. Don't forget to inform your neighbors & bring two of your trusted ones on high alert to join you in this process as witness . Your well wishers will be happy to know that you are going to satisfy your libido without making any forceful penetration. It would be preferred if you get this affidavit solemnized by a first class magistrate as well.  

2.  Cameras In the Bedroom; 

Although you may get charged of pornography but you may make a choice between being a Rapist or a Pornographer . Either ways you will end up behind bars . 

3. Count your Good days create Legal extortion fund: 

chances are you are lucky enough that your better half never trasforms in to bitter one . Secure your interest by creating a legal extortion fund ( preferably a recurring account). for every shot at bulls eye deposit 2000/- INR along with service tax in your safe account.  This litigation cost will act as a pool to pay off your lawyers if you deem fit to fight your marital rape case or you can settle down with a short cut by passing all these savings to your bitter half as a legal extortion fund. Some smart investors or hedge fund managers can also go for an investment in SIPS & if you are risk averse than get yourself challenged in stock market . Be rest assured your Legal extrotion fund will pay off. if you can succesfull dodge a marital rape charge the fund can act as your retiral benefits or fund your trips to Bangkok. 

4. WCD Ministry to Launch an Consensual App:

Tech Savvy govt will launch an app,This App will be funded by Womens welfare ministry & moderated by Womens Comission , Couples willing to copulate  have to feed in their marriage certificate nos & their individual mobile Nos , When they are burning with desire plead your arousal in the app which inturn will provide you an otp , Once you key in the OTP along with your wife a consent will get registered thus letting you unlock the theories of vatsyayan . Practicing kamasutra will become more enticing than never before.

5.  Be a Celibate Monk .

Learn to help yourself if you cant practice above ideas . what marriage has in store for you is not worth it . Being alleged of cruelty , domestic violence rape extortionist , dowry seeker are all in store for you.  No Risk no gain so if you can afford to take your chances & believe in your fate or think you are born lucky get married  else prefer being a celibate monk. you can still enjoy the fruits of wisdom while foreign tourism.. pleasure hubs like vegas & bangkok are inviting you. 

Hey if you have even better ideas do let me know ... we can keep building the list from top 5 to top 10 to top 20 & so on so forth..So Whats your crazy idea